“Woman’s Identity Subdued, Borrowed”: Late Shailza’s Pensive Blog

Shailza Dwivedi, wife of a senior Indian Army officer, was found brutally murdered on 24 June in west Delhi, with her throat slit and a vehicle having run over her body several times.

Nikhil Handa, an Indian army major currently posted in Nagaland's Dimapur, was arrested from Meerut for his alleged involvement in the case.

A finalist of the Mrs India Earth pageant in its 2017 edition, Shailza had been married to Lt Col Amit Dwivedi for the last 9 years. She was the first cousin of late Capt Saurabh Kalia, who was martyred during the Kargil war, reported The Times of India.

“Life Gives You Many Opportunities, Mine Came With Mrs India Earth”

In a blog titled “Who am I?” , Shailza recounts her journey as a contestant on Mrs India Earth pageant held in 2017.

“Life gives you many opportunities, like it came for me in the form of Mrs India Earth Pageant and I am loving it,” the late model described her journey with utmost fondness in her blog.

"My heart told me to do it,” she said, citing that the reason of her participation stemmed from her desire to “represent India at any forum,” The Statesmen quoted her as saying.

Also Read: Why Hail Soldiers Only When They Die? Army Wife Asks in Her Letter

“Woman’s Identity Often Subdued & Borrowed From Husband’s”

Beginning her blog with a musing —“Kaun huin main, mujhe kis ki hai talash, (Who am, what am I searching for?) — she gradually mulls over how there are “two worlds” for a girl child.

“In one world she is unwanted, undesired and is killed even before she sees the first light of life outside her mother’s womb.”

Unlike the fate of many girls, she found herself lucky to have had such parents who had a second girl child, Shailza wrote in her blog.

Peeved by how a woman’s life is based on compromises, Shailza believed that her identity is left “subdued” and “borrowed from her husband.”

In her heart-wrenching blog, she wrote that every stage of a woman’s life is a routine for her, and takes “a life of her own.”

In her words,“Children grow up, husband busy fighting with earning of bread and there she is alone again with a subdued identity of her own, with a borrowed identity of her husband.”

“Numerous Incidents Against Women Bother Me to the Core”

On being asked about the most pressing issues in the country today, she raised her voice against the deplorable state of women’s safety in the country in an interview, reported Statesman:

“Safety of women in our country needs more effort than what is being done now. The numerous incidents of rape, molestation, acid attacks, domestic violence against women bother me to the core,” the Statesman report added.

“Lucky to Have Had Husband & Family’s Back”

For Shailza who married Amit Dwivedi in December 2009, and had a 6-year-old son, family was “complete,” the daily reported.

Statesman quoted her as saying, “When you have a loving spouse, a naughty child and a bond between them which has threads of love, respect and feelings for each other.” 

The late finalist found herself “lucky” to have had her husband and family supporting her dream.

“I am lucky to have a husband who supports my dream and an entire family to back me up, but not many women are! So ladies get up, stand up, stand for yourself,” she wrote.

A resident of Amritsar, Shaizja Dwivedi had taught at Guru Nanak Dev University for five years as a lecturer and later worked with an NGO “Catch and Care” too.

(With inputs from The Statesman and late Shaiza Dwidevi’s blog published on Miss India Earth)

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