Camera: Mukul Bhandari, Sumit Badola
Video Editor: Rahul Sanpui
Source, Ellenomics Survey 2018 55 % Of Working Mums Want to Quit and 65% of Home Makers Want To Work
Yes, this is how hard life is for both. As a #Working Mom do you think that #StayAtHomeMoms have an easy life? Having that afternoon nap when they feel like it? Picking and dropping their kids from school?
If you are a #StayAtHomeMum- do you think #WorkingMums have a much better life - being able to get out of the house in the morning, dressed in smart clothes, meeting people and using their brains for something other than baby talk?
When it comes to the heath of both types of moms we have something to say to that may be an eye opener.
Turns out that Working Mums and Stay At Home Mums are not two different species as we sometimes make them out to be. The problems they face are often two sides of the same coin. Especially since a hard working #WorkingMom one day might find herself having to become a #StayAtHomeMum tomorrow.
Working Mom Burnout And the ‘Double Shift’Pavithra Kabir, Lawyer“When you are a mother you come last. If your kid is sick it doesn’t matter if you are also sick, you have to be there for your child. And when it comes to you career, your work also comes before you. So it is extremely draining emotionally and physically.”
The health problems associated with working mothers include insomnia, irritability, stress, anxiety, overwhelm and chronic fatigue. Many drop out of the workforce as a result of burn out.
Pavithra, Kabir Lawyer“My mother in law no longer lived with us, my husband worked long hours, my toddler was still small and I had second baby. I wasn’t allowed flexi-time at work. But you cannot compare what a man does to what a working mom does in the workplace. In fact you can’t compare two women either as their circumstances may be totally different, their support structures may not be the same. We are not asking for ‘special treatment’ we are just asking to be treated differently.”Stay At Home Mom’s Loss of Identity, Social Isolation
So what happened once she quit? Did all her problems go away? Unfortunately not. alot of stay at home mothers deal with the unspoken double whammy of mommy burn out and social isolation. Many newly minted stay at home mums find that the loss of identity that work brings, and the isolation that comes from being confined to the house can prove deadly for their mental health.
This is where things get really grim. In 2014 there were more than 20,000 home maker suicides- a figure nearly four times the number of farmer suicides in the same year. A analysis of the data showed that suicides by home makers were more likely to occur in states like Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Andhra Pradesh where women were educated, better qualified, implying the devastating mental health consequences of unmet aspirations. Those ‘traditional states like U.P and Haryana home to more extended families where it was ‘the norm’ for women stay home, saw fewer cases of home maker suicides.
As author Amy Westervelt said, women are expected to raise children like they don’t have to work, and work like they don’t have to raise children. It is the unaccounted extra work that women who are mothers have to bear that leads to their eventually throwing in the towel at work, while not being able to cope with the isolation, loss of identity and frustrated professional desires from staying at home.
But it looks like things are looking positive for Monika, an insurance professional whose company gives here three days of work from home and requires only two half days in the office. She juggles all this with full time grandparents as willing caregivers. Yet her eyes well up at the prospect of leaving her little son behind on her first day of work after maternity leave.
Moms will be moms.
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