Tea & Therapy: Puzzled about proposal

Editor’s dilemma

I work at a publication house as an editor. Reading so many manuscripts I am well versed with the writing patterns. I began writing myself two years ago and have come up with substantial amount of material to be converted in a book. I have never pitched my work before this and don’t know how to go about without looking like a fool. I have myself laughed over few manuscripts as they are very poorly written. I don’t want my work to be treated the same way. How do I take this further?

It often happens that our job profile restricts our perception about our own talents. It can happen that someone who has been in a certain field of work, while on job pick up skills without formal training and actually be really good as well. you have seemed to find such latent skill in yourself which you have been nourishing for the last 2 years. the results need to be shared with other experts so as to know your worth. this exploration might teach you quite a lot about yourself as well as your work. approach someone who you are close to professionally so that you don't feel overwhelmed and then gradually move to meeting more people from your line of work.

Unsure and unprepared

After graduation I got a job immediately through campus interviews. I was really happy with the idea that I have a job after studies get done. I joined the company three months ago and there were no complaints until last week. I was entrusted with a task that was senior level job but my manager thought of exposing me to the higher level work to test my skills. I am not completely ready for this kind of plunge and have been suffering from sleepless nights and uneasiness. I want to learn but I don’t think this technique works for me. How do I tell my boss about this?

g Every mentor has a different way of working in order to teach their mentees. since you realize that the current way of your manager isn’t working out well and that it is affecting your work efficiency, communicating the same to him is essential. mention that you are keen to learn and that you are open to take on challenging tasks, however, you would need some hand holding to begin with. this transparency in the beginning is essential as it helps set tone for your further communication with him as well. your health getting affected is a sign that this conversation needs to happen sooner than later.

Puzzled about proposal

I am a 52-year-old widow. I lost my husband few years ago to a long standing illness. During his treatment process my childhood friend helped me a lot emotionally. He never married and has recently asked me if I wish to start a new life with him as his partner. I like him but given our age, I am not sure how to go about this and whether it will be a wise choice. I am scared as I don’t think people around me are going to be very supportive of this decision if I plan on going ahead. Please help.

You seem to have accepted your age and ‘age appropriate’ behaviour as per societal standards. These standards could be grossly wrong and a huge barrier to seek happiness from what you desire. You mentioned you like him and have known him for years now. He has been with you in your toughest times in life and is respectful of your decision. take a call based on how you feel about taking him as your partner and whether you would feel happy doing so. if the answer is yes, any societal standards saying that 52 is too late to start afresh stand false. you deserve all the happiness and age is just a number.

Alcoholic brother

My brother is 33-years-old and has been dependent on alcohol for the last four years. He refuses to believe that it is a problem and this makes life difficult for us. He hasn’t been able to maintain a job nor has he been able to maintain his calm with family members. He is highly abusive and sometimes gets physically violent as well. How can we help him?

Addiction and dependency on a substance has been known to ruin households and families. In your brother’s case the violent episodes are both verbal as well as physical. He definitely would need professional help to overcome this dependency. it needs to be broken down to him that his actions have a negative impact on others around and that even though you all are his family, his ill treatment is a source of hurt. This conversation needs to be supplemented with treatment options such as visiting a psychiatrist.