A sexual dream about my boss has made me very uncomfortable

A sexual dream about my boss has made me very uncomfortable. I need advice on how to get over this, as I can’t look at my boss without thinking about it

Recently, I had a sexual dream involving my boss, which has left me very confused and a bit disturbed. I can’t look at my boss without thinking about it and it’s very uncomfortable. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to forget this or how to get over it?

You do not need to feel uncomfortable at work because your dream was not about your boss. When we dream about people we know, they are symbols – representations of something or someone. Ask yourself: “What does my boss represent to me?” For example, if they represent authority, then the dream could mean you are “flirting” with a need to take charge of your life more effectively.

Even the sexual aspect of your dream does not necessarily reflect an erotic attachment or interest in anyone or anything. But your actual sexual desire can also be hidden and studies have shown that subtle signs of courtship behaviour – such as stretching publicly and leaning over a person’s chair – are common in the workplace, so it is also possible that your boss may have made an unconscious erotic connection with you.

Dreams hold important information about our unconscious minds and are worth exploring properly. Find an expert dream-tender to help you make sense of your night-time novellas.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

• If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.

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