Sex and relationship therapists have to deal with all sorts of questions and requests on a daily basis. Whether they are seeing couples or individuals, therapists are there to help tackle relationship woes or problems in the bedroom.
From questions about orgasms, affairs, and basic sex ed, Womanizer sexpert and relationship therapist Pamela Supple has revealed some of the things she often deals with in her line of work and the most frequently asked questions from her patients.
Am I normal?
“I have people asking is it all right to not like certain aspect of sex,” Supple tells Yahoo. “For example I don’t like giving head, I don’t like going down on my girlfriend, is this normal? Is my genital size and shape normal?”
Supple says that when it comes to their sexual connections and sexual orientation, most people have doubts about whether they are “normal.”
“A lot of information about what to do or not do sexually is quite often gained from pop culture or others,” she says. “Everyone has doubts and questions regarding themselves and their relationships.
“But when people are being coerced, bullied, or made to feel bad about certain aspects and abilities when it comes to sex and sexual connections, they often aren’t sure where to go for assistance. Sex-positive therapists will definitely help you with this.”
Why can’t I keep an erection?
Not being able to keep and maintain an erection is another common question Supple gets from male clients.
“Quite often it is the result of performance anxiety and the fear of not being able to keep an erection long enough for sexual intercourse and different sexual encounters,” she explains.
“I will generally go through a person’s sexual history and ascertain whether or not their physical or mental health is having an impact on them, along with alcohol, smoking, and other drugs and medications.”
Relationship dynamics and age, plus having no sexual connection with a person or not being attracted to someone anymore, as well as psychological issues are also reasons for erectile dysfunction.
Have I had an orgasm?
“I often see women who have never experienced an orgasm or have come close and want to know how to achieve this for themselves,” Supple says.
The therapist says many women who experience sensations aren’t sure if they have actually had an orgasm. This is where sex education and understanding anatomy comes into play.
“Learning the stages of women’s orgasms and educating them around receiving sexual stimulation is the first step,” Supple says.
Then, the therapist explains, it’s about understanding your erotic mindset and comfort zone, giving yourself permission to experience sexual pleasure, and potentially including the use of female pleasure products.
How do we recover from infidelity? And what do we do?
As a therapist, Supple sees many couples asking how to recover and come back together after an affair or a break in trust. “These days this can often have to do with texting or social media connections,” she says.
Supple will also help with relationship well-being, disagreements, and the management of these issues. “Many clients will ask for advice for if they decide to separate: ‘How can we do this amicably’ and ‘Can this be done’?”
Do you teach sex education?
Supple says she also often assists with sex education — for singles, couples, and virgins and different cultural, religious, and spiritual beliefs.
“I try to help with sexual health concerns or exploring alternative sexual and relational lifestyles and well-being,” she tells Yahoo. “Differences in libido and what may be causing drops in libido or higher libidos and how to manage this are also common discussion points.”
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