RGV asks Tiger Shroff to be less Urmilaish: Bollywood teaches you how to be a 'real' man

More than his upcoming film Sarkar 3, Ram Gopal Varma is in the news for perpetually having his foot in the mouth. This time, he took on Tiger Shroff for not posing like a "real" man and asked him to learn "machoism" from his father, Jackie Shroff. RGV criticised the young actor for posing in an "Urmilaish" (looks like he is still obsessed with his once-favourite leading lady) way.

Reportedly, Sanjay Dutt had a little too much to drink at a party recently and mocked Ranbir Kapoor for his un-macho choice of films. He is said to have told Ranbir, "I watched Barfi! on TV recently. What made you do a film like that? @#$^&* bloody hell, you are playing me in the Sanjay Dutt biopic. I don't know how they cast you. You should be a macho man. Act in macho films. You can't be doing films like Barfi!. You should be holding guns and doing action films. Do you think actors like me, Salman (Khan) and Ajay (Devgn) would have been around for so many years, if we had not played macho characters on screen?"

But what exactly makes a "macho" man? Bollywood has the answer. Here's the checklist of all the qualities a "real" man must have:

1. A macho man does not take the support of dogs. (Sunny Deol, with his dhai kilo ka haath had proclaimed, "Mard banne ka itna shauk hai, toh kutto ka sahara lena chhod de.")

2. "Pain? Pfft," say real men. ("Mard ko dard nahi hota," Amitabh Bachchan had declared, flaunting the "mard" tattoo on his chest.)

3. Ethnic clothes maketh a man. ("Lucknow da kurta, pathani salwar... Tab lage mard, varna lage bekaar," Kajol had scoffed at Shah Rukh Khan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham.)

4. Real men talk on the phone. (Bizarre as it sounds, "Telephone uthakar khamosh rehna mardo ka kaam nahi hai!")

5. If you play the dholak, you are NOT a man. ("Dholak toh hijre bajate hain. Aur jab mard bajane par aata hai, toh dunka bajata hai," Mithun Chakravarty tells the baddies in Gunda. Of Pretentious Movie Reviews fame, in case you're wondering.)6. They abuse more. Cause, macho. ("Aapko pata hai mard zyada gaaliyan kyun dete hai? Kyunki woh rote kum hai," Jimmy Shergill taught us in Shaeb, Biwi Aur Gangster.)

7. Move over, natural death. Real men die of heart attacks. ("Heart attack se mard marte hai, kyunki hamare pass dil hota hai," said the authority on manliness, Big B.)

8. If you're not lusting after your neighbour's wife, what kind of man are you? ("Mardo ka toh nature yeh hai...ki unhe bachche jo hai, woh apne achche lagte hai... aur biwiyan doosro ki achchi lagti hai," Akshay Kumar tells you what makes a man.)

9. Unless you're stripping off your swimming trunks in a public place, she will not be impressed. (Tusshar Kapoor follows pal's instruction of "Apna impression macho dena.")

10. No moustache? A pathetic excuse for a man. (Take it from Bobby Deol. "Kiske chehre pe mooch nahi, woh mard hi nahi hota.")

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