I'm The One Catholic Who Didn't Vote For Congress On Tuesday

Every vote counts.

Image Source:  India Today / Times Now

Congress lost. And I think I’m to blame for this. See, Catholics vote for Congress. It’s a given. We line up, every polling day, and pick the Congress candidate, no matter who. Even Rahul Gandhi. It’s just what we do. Cast the blind vote. The eleventh, twelfth and thirteenth commandments even say we have to:

11. Thou shall not have other political parties before the Indian National Congress.
12. Honour thy Congress and thy Congress.
13. Thou shall not commit (to) BJP.

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Well, I did not vote for Congress on Tuesday. And here’s why:

https://soundcloud.com/mohityagnik/aud-20170221-wa0036

No Karen (It’s Congress candidate Karen D'Mello’s song for the Municipal Elections)

Clearly, Catholic Congress candidate Karen’s Congress canvassing is the reason she lost my vote. Has she lost my vote forever? Not if she reinvents herself in her next campaign. I have a few song ideas:

1.
Give me votes, Joanna.
Votes, Joanna.
Give me votes, Joanna.
Before morning comes.

2.
Oh Cecilia, I’m taking your vote.
Start taking my confidence seriously.
Oh Cecilia, fine, I’ll get down on my knees.
I’m begging you please Vote For Karen.

3.
Hey Jude, don’t make it bad.
Take my sad campaign song, and make it better.
Remember to let me into your heart.
Then we can start to make Bandra better.

4.
Oh Danny Boy, the Congress party is calling.
We’ve gone fromGlen, to Glen, now we’re by your side.
The summer’s gone, and all the voters are planning.
It’s you, it’s you, must go, and Vote for Karen.

5.
Sheena is a Congress voter.
Sheena is a Congress voter.
Sheena is a Congress voter.
Now.

6.
Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one.
When you gonna give me some votes, Sharona?
Ooh, I make my campaign run, my campaign run.
Got it running for your vote Sharona.

7.
And here’s to you Mrs. Robinson.
Jesus loves you more when you do vote.
Vote, vote, vote.
God bless you, please,Mrs. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place for those who vote.
Karen, Karen, Karen…

8.
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on.
Her vote’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long.
Stacy can’t you see, you'remom’s just the girl for me.
I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Stacy'smom’s vote.    

And, if you’re looking for mass appeal, a bonus track:
Tunak tunak tun
Tunaktunak tun
Tunaktunak tun
Vote, vote, vote.

https://soundcloud.com/mohityagnik/aud-20170221-wa0036

Just not this again

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So, who did I vote for in the BMC elections? Nobody. And clearly, for the minorities, nobody wins again. Just FYI, Karen:

This is what a winning song sounds like

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By Dominic S
Cover photo illustration by: Eshna Goenka