Such a strange time to be alive, no?
My sister and I have decided to leave for Delhi, where home is, where our mother is. As the Mumbai numbers are going up, standing at 50,031 confirmed cases as I write this, our landlord who’s based out of Delhi has not been very cooperative. So, we have arrived at a solution that works for both parties and the outcome is that we booked our tickets after considering the exhaustive travel process and the circumstances. I can tell you only once I’m home how it went but the fact of the matter is that 3 months ago, we didn’t leave for Delhi, thinking it’s risky for us to be at public places and then going home. We felt like ‘corona warriors’ then, but not anymore. Times have changed, and beggars can’t be choosers I guess. So here we are, counting down days for the D-day.
Now, I can tell you that the last month has been all kinds of stressful. By the time we’re out of this lockdown, I feel like there will be a new mental health issue invented. And that’s probably the issue my brain has been going through. Is it the same with you? Are you feeling restless-helpless-stressed about work but can’t move- kind of emotion after almost 3 months of zero human contact? I have my bad days that are really bad and there are days that I feel very energetic and I end up starting and finishing 10 tasks in half a day.
On my bad days, I look at Barkha Dutt and feel almost insignificant during this pandemic and so I rise up to the occasion and start my work again. This is a vicious circle these days. Does it happen to you too? I don’t know what this is an effect of. Is it work from home or too many home chores or the uncertainty around the future? It does make me realize that the one thing that we thought came for free in life will be taken for granted no more, at least by the youth - freedom.
The fact that I have my ticket booked for Delhi for June 1st and I’m still not sure if we’ll take that flight tells me something about the times we’re living in today. “The New Normal” ~ as we’re oh-so-fondly calling it these days. I don’t know when we’ll be back in Mumbai again. I don’t know whether Mumbai will be the same ever again. The city of dreams, will we still call it? I have so many questions in my head and heart and as I write this today, I know you have so many questions too. About the future, about your work, about your loved ones, about the next time you’ll truly be happy again. Not the social media happy but truly, deeply happy.
I don’t have the answers today or maybe any day, but the one thing I can say is we are all feeling the same thing, just in different ways. The fear of uncertainty, the fear of the unknown, has really brought the message home for all of us. So, whenever you feel alone in this wobbly lockdown ride, think of me.
I’m not okay and you don’t have to be okay either. Give this feeling a name, like I’m calling it “Lockdepression” these days but I may change it later. Whatever the name be, just also know that the day this lockdown is lifted, life will be one big party once again. You’ll again live it to the fullest, and maybe and hopefully, with more responsibility this time.
Until then, hang in there friend. I’m with you. Details about my travel from Mumbai to Delhi soon! Pray for us.
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