By Zoe Ruderman
You might be surprised, but psychologist and sex therapist Megan Fleming, PhD, wasn’t “Men almost globally report enjoying when their partner’s initiate this type of touching.”
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And here’s something the study didn’t mention: you don’t have to institute spooning Saturdays or watch So You Think You Can Dance while sitting on his lap (eww). Fleming assured us that you can reap the benefits without getting shmooptastic. It’s all about sharing physically intimate moments and touching him in a way that sends the message, “I want to be with you, I choose you, I like being and feeling close to you”, she adds.
Not sure how to get that message across? Here are four get-close moves that will boost your twosome happiness and, if done in public, won’t make others gag. Much.
1. Be the big spoon.
We know, we just turned your universe upside-down. But if women can run Fortune 500 companies, get elected to office, and drive race cars, we can be the larger of the two utensils too. This isn’t just about exercising your rights as a woman, though. Being the big spoon can be more pleasurable for both you and your guy. Here’s why: You get to grind against him (dry humping: not just for high schoolers anymore) and he gets to feel your hands all over his body. Plus, you’ll be rubbing on his coccyx (his tailbone), which is home to a bunch of nerves that connect to his...body part that sounds like coccyx.
2. Then further tweak your spooning technique.
As an eating device, the spork totally sucks (seriously, what’s the point?), but as a cuddling position, it rocks. Here’s how you spork: Start in spooning position (you’re the little spoon this time). But instead of laying on your side with your knees touching each other, lay on your back (still in the crevice of his big spoon, though). Leave your bottom leg aligned with his legs, but throw the top leg over his. It’s more comfortable—no dead arm for you—and it allows you to kiss, unlike when you’re spooning.
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3. Hold his forearm.
Hand-holding is great in theory and romantic comedies. In a lot of real life situations and heat waves, it can be kind of awk. (And sweaty and clammy. Did we mention the heat wave?) Holding his forearm or the crook of his elbow, however, may sound strange, but it’s actually a pretty genius move. Men’s forearms are loaded with lots of nerve endings so touching him there will give him the warm and fuzzies. Plus, this move will make him feel like such a manly man. (Think of how couples used to walk in old time movies—the woman gripping his forearm as if she couldn’t walk down the street without him. Not that we’re all for that kind of relationship. We can be big spoons, remember.)
4. Let him use your lap as a pillow.
Next time you’re watching TV together, sit at one end of the couch and have him lay down with his head resting on your thighs. His scalp is jam-packed with pleasure-sensing nerves and experts are constantly telling us that men’s ears are super sensitive to the touch as well. Treat him to a noggin massage then suggest he return the favor. We’ve never known a man to turn down a woman’s head in his crotch.
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