Fake Friendly Fridays: Exclusive Interview Of Poor Mary Jane Who Got Dragged In And Accused Of Killing SSR

Aditi Gupta
·4-min read

Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we pick a famous personality and throw fake questions at him/her and in return, we receive fake answers. Why should you not take it seriously? Because it is fake.

If you still didn’t get it: This is a fake interview written purely based on the author’s imagination of how the actual interview would have been if we got the chance to interview these famous (for all the wrong reasons) personalities in real. In short, just a good laugh.

ED: Hello, and welcome to Fake Friendly Fridays! Today, we have with us, Miss. Mary Jane. Thank you for joining us during your high time.

(My eyes have started to water as the studio fills up with the smell of weed and smoke)

Mary Jane: Hehehehehe (unable to control her laughter) Oh no problem. Even though it’s my high time, I would love to have a talk with you. Are you ok? Why are you crying?

ED: Oh no no! It’s ok. It’s just that the smell is getting too strong.

Mary Jane: Dear, let me get water for you. (she stands up so quickly and started running around the studio in a very perky manner) Where is water?

ED: Ma’am please! Don’t do this. Sit down. I am fine.

(Me getting scared on how this interview will go further)

Mary Jane (giggling a lot): I just wanted to help you, my friend… (suddenly clapping her hands) Why hasn’t the interview started yet? Let’s start the interview. Hello my friend how are you?

ED (confused): I am good, thank you!

(Mary Jane interrupts me)

Mary Jane: Good good. (addressing the studio crew members) Our guest is good guys! Hehehehe. (her voice getting high pitched and more squeaky as she speaks) So hello my friend, how are you?

(My eyes getting big in bewilderment! She has started repeating her words. How will I ever get my interview, oh lord!)

ED: Crew, please give ma’am a glass of lemonade (me hoping that this might help her sober up)

Mary Jane: That’s too sweet. (lemonade arrives and she grabs onto it instantly) Yeah, thanks, man!

(She starts to calm down and her eyes are getting more attentive)

Read More: Marijuana Is Given As ‘Prasad’ At Some Temples Of Karnataka

ED (taking a sigh of relief): Thank you, ma’am, so, with all the recent news, you are India’s most wanted substance. Do you have any comments about that?

Mary Jane (laughing): Well, yes I am the most wanted, and it’s only because I help people in relaxing. College students love me, man!

ED: But there are also many adverse effects of you, like hallucination and depression, moreover you have even been accused of killing one of our most beloved actors, do you still believe you should be legal?

Mary Jane: Umm…. I am just a plant! Go green dude. Hehehe. Global warming and all that bro.

ED: Miss. Jane, you have the ability to influence people and especially the youth-

(Cutting me off)

Mary Jane (sleepily): –Hey! I never told them to have me! You know you could legalise me to reduce my consumption! That sadly worked in the US and Canada!

ED (confused): What!

Mary Jane (enthusiastically): Oh yes my friend! In the USA’s Colorado and Washington where recreational and medical consumption of me have been made legal, there has actually been a drop in my usage. My whole business is effected, dude… Do you have pizza man?

ED (appalled): Ma’am you are giving an interview right now.

(Even before I can finish she jumped up and starting foraging around the studio)

ED: What are you doing? Please sit down ma’am.

Mary Jane: Pizza! I am hungry! You guys don’t treat your guests proper. (she has now started slurring)

ED: Where were you on the night Sushant Singh Rajput died?

Mary Jane: Buddy take a chill pill! I did not kill anybody. I just make them go high. Wooohooo. But to answer your question, I was still on my plant dude, fluttering with my other buddiesssszzzz..zzz..zz

Miss Mary Jane with her buddies on the night of SSR’s death
Miss Mary Jane with her buddies on the night of SSR’s death

(She has now gone to sleep while I am watching her in pure amazement)

ED (perplexed): Miss Mary Jane? Hello!

(Trying to wake her up unsuccessfully)

ED: Well I guess the interview is over then! (utterly shocked to say anything) Thank you and sorry to everyone who joined in.

(I leave the studio while Mary Jane snores aloud mumbling to herself.)

Image Sources: Google Images

Find Blogger: @aditi_21gupta

This post is tagged under: fake friendly friday, Exclusive Interview, Mary Jane, SSR, Sushant Singh Rajput, weed, India, US, Canada, Colorado, Washington, recreational consumption, medical consumption, high, stoned, drugs, narcotics, legal, illegal

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