Dear IPL 10, Amy Jackson Failed but Will Riteish Deshmukh Succeed?

Bhai kal kya tha?

No, I’m not asking about the day of the week, but about the grand IPL opening ceremony, that’s celebrating it’s tenth edition with its tagline of gratitude – 10 Saal Apke Naam.

But what we got instead was babaji ka thullu. Sorry not sorry.

Seriously, was that an opening ceremony of the biggest money-making tournament where most of the retired desi and videshi cricketers come to play/coach, or a just a regular sports day celebration?

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IPLwallon, you cheated your cricket mitros. What you did to us is much worse than demonetisation. At least that was a sudden jolt; but you, you killed us softly with Amy Jackson’s dance.

Why Amy Jackson? Were you hoping that her popular surname would make your opening ceremony a ‘thriller’ night?

But guys, Shakespeare nein kaha tha – what’s in a name?

Amy’s finger-swapping performance in borrowed songs from another firangi contemporary Katrina Kaif, was like my Kathak class in school when the teacher wasn’t looking.

But let’s not blame Amy entirely for such a dud opening ceremony.

Before Amy, there was a troupe of singers singing AR Rahman’s Chale Chalo from Lagaan.

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Kyu bhai? Is India going to war? We understand Virat Kohli and Steve Smith were on verbal war. That Brad Hodge also roared against Kohli, but he was quickly tamed and soon apologised. So now ‘all iz well na’, India- Australia are bhai-bhai. So why such a war cry?

Let’s admit it! Chale Chalo was a completely wrong selection, just like Amy Jackson for your opening ceremony.

You know what else is wrong? Having eight opening ceremonies? Dude, this is fatter than a big fat Punjabi wedding. Even weddings don’t have eight ceremonies hosted in different cities. Demonetisation ka koi asar nahi padha tum pe?

And to be honest, IPL seems to be less of a T20, and more of a Kapil Sharma Show. Arre yaar, you are the perfect replacement of the comedy king for all the young crop of actors to promote their films.

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How you may ask?

Well, Amy Jackson would soon be seen in Rajinikanth’s 2.0. Parineeti Chopra, who will be back on the 70mm screen after a year with Meri Pyaari Bindu, would perform at Ferozeshah Kotla Stadium ahead of Delhi Daredevils’ opening game. After taking a break from Half Girlfriend, Shraddha Kapoor would be seen wooing a full crowd of Chetan Bhagat’s fan along with Monali Thakur in Kolkata. Karan Johar’s new student Tiger Shroff would roar for Gujarat Lions in Rajkot. And today the ‘Bank Chor’ Riteish Deshmukh would have a ‘Housefull’ while he performs for the Pune Rising Supergiant.

So Kapil, IPL has shut your laughter ki dhukan. But to make you feel better, they didn’t do a good job with it. Well, at least the ‘first’ opening ceremony was a proof of that. And like the popular cliché goes, first impression is the last impression. But then, if we can forgive Arvind Kejriwal and give him a second term, then I guess we can give you guys a second chance too.

So here we go again!

Also read: IPL’s T20 Tamasha: Your One-Stop shop

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