Chrissy Teigen opened up about her heartbreaking pregnancy loss in a powerful essay published on Medium.
The model and her husband, John Legend, announced on Sept. 30 that their son Jack had not survived the pregnancy complications Teigen faced. In the weeks that followed, Teigen took a break from posting on social media, but she broke her silence on Tuesday to share her emotional post, simply titled, “Hi.”
“I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you,” she wrote. “For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…’. I can assure you, I did.”
In the essay, Teigen describes her experience with partial placenta abruption during her pregnancy, from wearing adult diapers as she continuously bled to trying “bags and bags of blood transfusions” that didn’t seem to help.
“After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either,” she wrote.
We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack - I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your...