5 questions to ask before getting into an open relationship

Shreya Suresh Kumar

Open relationships are not everybody’s cup of tea. You need to be 100 percent sure before you get into an open relationship.  You need to take this decision thoughtfully before you jump into it. For the uninitiated, open relationship means two people are with each other yet can go out with others. So even when you are with a particular person, you are free to see other people as well. Now it is you who gets to decide the rules of your relationship after discussing with your partner. It looks fancy and fun from the outside but it is no joke. So before you guys decide to get into an open relationship, here are the 5 questions that you need to ask yourself and your partner.

1. What are the rules that need to be set?

If it is an open relationship, going with the flow is not even an option.  You will put yourself at the risk of getting hurt. You need to set some basic rules so that things are easier.  For instance, you can decide on how many times you will see each other, if seeing others is allowed, what are the limits to be maintained etc are some of the basic rules that you need to set. If not, you will find yourself in an emotional mess.

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2. If you get jealous, how will you handle it?

Open relationship is the hotbed for overflow of emotions like jealousy.  Since this is an open relationship, ideally there should be no place for jealous. If you or your partner gets jealous, you need to have an idea of how you are going to handle it. You need to be able to handle jealous gracefully without messing it up.

3. Whatever you do, will there be transparency in your relationship?

Irrespective of what you do, you need to decide with your partner of you are going to share everything with each other. Will your relationship have secrets? Can you both easily talk to each other without any hesitation? These are the things that you need to discuss with your partner and ask yourself too.

4. If you plan to tell anybody, who would that be?

Now we know of many couples who are not really open about their open relationship. They are not comfortable telling the world. So what you need to do is ask yourself if you are okay people knowing about this relation.  And if you are planning to tell somebody, who would it be? Honestly, you should be open about it only if you are sure that other people’s opinions won’t affect you. However, once you are sure what you need, you also need to discuss this with your partner so that both of you are on the same page.

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5. What are you okay and not okay with?

Another very important thing that you need to analyze about yourself is what will you be open for? Will you be okay being in a sexual relationship or not? Do you want this to be more of love? Are you okay with your partner sleeping around with others? There are several such questions that you need to ask yourself and find answers for. Also understand that you and your partner are two different people. So both your preferences will be different. So whatever you decide or have in your mind, discuss it with your partner.

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