Don’t worry—this is not a trick article which is going to redirect you to Kangana Ranaut’s Twitter timeline. Or the BMC’s work plan for the month.
Now, if either of the above terrifies you, your own life probably feels like a bit of a horror movie at the moment.You’re probably just one television debate away from questioning whether you were wrong in rolling your eyes at Instagram influencers posting ‘humans are the virus, nature is healing’ messages at the beginning of the pandemic.
Maybe you’ve also run out of all the Indian language comedies that feel good. And fearing that perhaps Koreans have not made enough shows to keep up with your hunger for frothy rom-coms, you are this close to Google translating the packaging information on your face masks now.
So we’ve dug up some Bollywood horror movie suggestions for you to consider, simply for their comic potential. Humour, even if unintentional, is rare in our lives at the moment, so these masterpieces should be at the top of your list if you’re in desperate need of a laugh.
My friend and I like to tell people that we ended up watching Raaz 3D in a theatre only because we missed multiplex samosas so much. In their defence though, these multiplex samosas — which tasted like my credit card bills and tears in 2012 — were much less unscrupulous than this ghost in Raaz 3D.
He isn’t some old-school ghost. You know, the kind who wanted simple pleasures in life, erm, afterlife. Like doors pretending to be Times Now anchors and terrifying humans by making loud, inscrutable sounds, taps starting to leak right when you doze off, and women tripping and falling into blackholes as if they are a certain country’s GDP.
Don’t know if this ghost was tripping on Indian Twitter, but is suspiciously starved of that one thing that trolls with red rose DPs are — sex. So he asks Bipasha Basu, “Ek zinda mard ek zinda aurat ke saath jo karti hai, tum kar paogi ek pret atma ke saath?” (what a living...