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    Sinking emotional quotient: A suicide attempt every 4 minutes

    New Delhi, Oct 10 (IANS) The tattered printout of an email, a blood-soaked bedsheet and the laptop screen flashing an image from the Facebook account left open is all that 26-year-old Shivani Mhatre remembers about the night of April 2, 2011.

    Mhatre's family was busy catching the India vs Sri Lanka cricket match of the World Cup finale on television when Shivani, a marketing executive, made an unsuccessful attempt to end her life over a failed relationship.

    'At that given time and moment, it meant the end of life. He (boyfriend) wanted time to build his career and was not ready for marriage. My parents wanted me to get married,' Mhatre confessed, her kohl-smeared eyes full of tears as she recalled the fateful night when she lay unconscious with a slashed wrist before her parents found her.

    'I have moved on since that day... but a minute of impulsiveness made me spoil my career. I scarred the faith my parents had in me...,' she told IANS. Sharing a two-room apartment with her parents in south Delhi's Amar Colony, Shivani changed her job to avoid stigma, legal proceedings and uncomfortable questions.

    Mhatre is not alone. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2009 report leaves a chilling statistic of 15 suicides every hour in the country, with one in three victims aged between 15 and 29 years. The age group is resorting to suicides as the emotional quotient dips and impulsiveness rides high, say experts as Oct 10 is observed as World Mental Health Day.

    'If we take the population size between 15 and 29 years, we have four suicide attempts per minute in India. Everything has changed, from the lethality of methods used to the reasons - urban areas have terribly gone wrong in reading the young minds,' Sunil Mittal, senior consultant, psychiatry and psychotherapy at the Delhi Psychiatry Centre, told IANS.

    'There are aspirations and the inability to cope with shattered dreams. When you are young, you are short-tempered, judgmental, impulsive and tolerance is low,' Mittal added.

    Problems ranging from a broken relationship to financial crunch are causing mental health disorders like depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. Gender, say experts, has a lot to do with the reasons over which a person goes for suicide.

    'Suicide comes later. Before that, there is a lot playing in the head of any person with suicidal tendencies. For women, emotional reasons count more, but for men it is the financial world and dependent family that could be the reason,' Mittal explained.

    The NCRB report also pointed out that social and economic causes led most of the males to commit suicide, while emotional and personal causes drove women to end their lives. States such as Jharkhand, Bihar and Orissa reported far fewer suicides that the metropolitan cities.

    'If you take into account the existent rural and urban divide, then this could be logical. But the reporting of suicide is not common in India because there is a stigma associated with it. When someone attempts suicide, the family prefers to bury the matter quickly without involving the police,' said Rajesh Sagar, assistant professor at the psychiatry department of All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS).

    Interestingly, farmer suicides had shot up by seven percent between 2008 and 2009, with nearly 17,368 cases reported across the country.

    Experts blame the communication gap and individualistic lives that the youngsters are leading for suicides in a section of society.

    'Upbringing these days is amidst verticals such as stiff competition and rush. When we see parents coming to us at the AIIMS, we notice the sense of reward is missing. Adolescents are diagnosed with high-risk behaviour that can later take the shape of suicide,' Sagar told IANS, adding that 'supervision and the communication bridge between parents and children is nowhere to be seen'.

    Sagar added: 'This is just one aspect of it. At AIIMS, we try and tell families that give the person who has attempted suicide a chance. Suicide itself denotes that the person was desperate to find a way out and cried for help.'

    Even as the World Health Organisation (WHO) notes that depression, one of the causes of suicide, will be the second-most prevalent condition worldwide by 2020, experts say the thrust lies on decriminalsing suicide.

    'It's high time we decriminalised suicide. The problem is cases of suicide or attempts at suicide are under-reported due to fear of medico-legal cases,' Mittal said. 'Even if they are reported, there might not be much persecution, but the person is stigmatised for the entire life.'

    (Madhulika Sonkar can be contacted at madhulika.s@ians.in)

     

    36 comments

    • Helen Robert D'souza ...  •  7 months ago
      Greedy people living in the society, girls - boys cheat one another called emotional athyachar, insecurity in professional field, parent's -childrens fights for their rights to maintain egos, Daughter-in-law mother-in-law's arguments, insufficient income, Political goodas athyachar like creating mis-inderstanding among people against cast creed religion and language, family destruction happening from feminism and value less liberalization, biased laws, rapes, communication gap and individualistic lives that the youngsters are leading for suicides in a section of society. non awareness of good-bad life, drug intakes, poor educational system in India, Heavy priced educational burdens, forcing girls-boys to marry as per parents choice. and above all today's anti social element's black mailing to innocent respective people through mobile vedio shootings and secret camaras etc etc. are the reasons for suicides. When one feels impossible to live a normal life and ashamed to carryon things accordingly then only one committs suicide. Reply
    • J.M.RAJASHEKHARA  •  7 months ago
      Do or Die...for good faith.not for weakness of failure.
    • dhaval d  •  7 months ago
      who says men do not have emotions.
      • Pankaj Chawla 7 months ago
        some men are even more emotional than women
      • vandana 7 months ago
        Agree but its in generalised term that the reasons that force a man to take this extreme step is the financial and economic crisis... when they don't hv income or source of earning and realise they have people to take care of (family... mother father wife daughter son) and right now he can't do anything he feel worthless... in certain case they even kill there families...even behind this emotions play role but these emotions are different.. but when it comes to women they can even kill themself for a broken heart... a man won't because in back of his mind he know that there is a family which is completely dependent on him
      • Sunshine Newday 7 months ago
        Only some men may be emotional, not all
    • Kanchan Mahavar  •  7 months ago
      why people do like this merna to hai hi to abhi ji ker maro yaar ye chance fir na milega
    • RAJEEV DEWAN  •  7 months ago
      Those who want to do this , pl join the defence service if u really want to die , die for good reasons.
    • shiva  •  7 months ago
      This beautiful life is to live despite many hurdles. We have to come across problems to challenge life face-to-face.Never give up ur precious life that ur parents have given. cheers!
    • Rajesh  •  7 months ago
      WHY DO PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE?

      People commit suicide when they’re afflicted with the “no future” syndrome.

      WHAT CAUSES THIS “NO FUTURE” SYNDROME?

      The reasons are many! In fact they can be divided into 2 parts: Internal & External.

      INTERNAL

      Life-threatening disease.
      Failure in exams.
      Failure to get admitted to the college of one’s choice.
      No career, no money – therefore, no future.
      Acute absence of something (family, children, money) in life that one feels very strongly about.

      EXTERNAL

      (for girls) Pressure from parents to marry a boy of their choice.
      (for girls) Pressure from parents to end a love relationship.
      (for girls) Pressure/torture from her in-laws for more & more dowry.
      (for girls) Lack of support system in case of a tension-ridden (possibly violent) marriage.
      (for girls) Being abandoned by a lover after months or years of relationship.
      (for girls) Fear of shame for having being caught involved in forbidden acts (pre-marital pregnancy or self-featured porno materials or rape).
      (for girls) Being fed up with a miserable (even if non-violent) marriage, for years.
      (for boys) Sudden/gradual loss of good financial status as a result of external factors.
      (for emotional boys) Being pressurized by wife to live separately – away from her in-laws.
      (for boys) Being caught up in a hectic lifestyle with little or no support system – companied by a gnawing feeling of emptiness
      (for both boys & girls) Unable to withstand repeated public insults or harassments by a higher authority.
      (for both boys & girls) Unable to get justice after a protracted legal battle

      IS SUICIDE A SIGN OF EMOTIONAL WEAKNESS?

      Yes & No!

      It’s very easy for people who’ve never been through the kind the life that suiciders live, to instantly criticize the act as foolishness or weakness. Of course, in some cases it can be – but not in all cases.

      I’d once read about an energetic lady who was full of life – but she committed suicide. Why? She was unable to bear the pain of a life-threatening cancer she was suffering from. Perhaps she thought, “Whyn’t fast forward the inevitable?”

      There’re people who commit suicide because they feel an incredible vaccum in their lives…do not not’ve any tangible things to base their lives on…they face a blank future in which they’ve nothing to look forward to…perhaps they’ve some deep-seated regrets too…& then frustration & depression kicks in…result is Suicide.

      In such cases, if somebody wants to commit suicide you cannot stop them…can you? It’s their lives & if they’ve some compelling reason to do so… then so be it.

      Of course, there’re cases where it’s nothing but sheer emotional weakness (as in the case of model Nafisa Joseph).
    • janod  •  7 months ago
      for girls government should creat better world, security and freedom and men at the same time should change their mentality towards women.........
    • abbas  •  7 months ago
      The system is trying to copy the western culture, but the phase of transition is much causing these things. the policies related to the employment needs to be changed. the growing population demands something which cannot be overlooked. The corruption in society is so high that one can not have his daily bread and butter easily. And some of the persons are enjoying the lofty things. As a reason the emotional stresses leads to the development of a depression which ultimately ends up in some relation with opposite sex for mental peace. But this is done with some other purpose sub-conciously, hence the sensitivity of the person increases to smaller things in life, ultimately giving way to more probable show of discontented souls which leads to suicides, may be.
      • Parvez 7 months ago
        Salam Brother,

        you are right the remembrance of ALLAH is the only thing that gives peace and there is nothing other then that one can find peace and contentment so it means that one should stay connected to the lord of universe ALLAH the most supreme might to succeed in this world and hereafter.

        I don't want to repeat all what you have mentioned as what you said is 100% accurate brother.

        i wish peace, blessing and success to entire Umaat e Muslimah & to Entire Humanity.

        - Aameen
    • Ishan  •  7 months ago
      This has been happening for a long time and it has become worse.As our young generations face more competition than before the fear of failure is not the lone reason for ending one's life.It is pressure from both the family and the society that has lead to this "solution".Constantly worrying or nagging about someone's academic abilities has made people not only weak but left them broken down.I have seen many people including (my friends & me) having been questioned many times why can't we perform as well as other and what is wrong with us.I always knew they were worried about me and my future but sometimes these little "bumps" take a large toll on some people's mind and life.Comparing someone that is much smarter or well established that the other it is of no doubt that the other person will be neglected and most probably ignored.This is the feeling that has bothered not only me but every loving soul in India and our education system can only give us knowledge on how to do your work but it cannot help us tackle our problems in life.Only bitter experiences in life can teach you its value and help you realize how amazing one individual can be. "POVERTY IN MIND IS AS GREAT AS POVERTY IN EDUCATION" this is the saying that has helped me and i hope it helps anyone that reads it.Thank you please reply .
      • vandana 7 months ago
        ur statement reminds me of a dialogue from TAARE ZAMEEN PAR aaj kal parents ko bache nhi ghode chahiye.... race k ghode...
      • Ishan 7 months ago
        hahahah thank you for reading it
      • Ishan 7 months ago
        I really liked you views on this situation :)
    • vandana  •  7 months ago
      its just the matter of time at that particular moment... the pain of living a life that seems worthless is higher than the pleasure of achieving heights of life... ur education ,IQ evry thing dips down, this is y parents should start focusing on their kids and develop the healthy and rich communication to develop there emotional quotient.... stop taking it as if u r interfering in there space .... know what is goin in thr life besides studies, there thoughts, there problems and suggest them guide them don't be judgmental
    • sushma  •  7 months ago
      it would be of tremendous help if there were counselors or just people who are empathetic easily available for everyone with suicidal tendencies to talk to! that would prevent a lot of people from taking the ultimate step of killing one self. many people die only because they find no one to share their grief with at that moment
    • alien  •  7 months ago
      strange...... you die for some one you wanted to live entire life with? who benifits?
      • vandana 7 months ago
        because if she will marry somebody else she has to replace her lover with whom she dream to spend her life ....sometime its just not unthinkable to live without him its unbearable
    • John  •  7 months ago
      Dear friends, One should not hasty in their decision making especially for a life partner. Waiting is more important. God knows our lives and has designed wonderfully for us. So, pray and commit every thing in HIS hand. HE knows how to settle us....why pressure, depression... Pls believe in God and let HIM operate in you.
      God bless you all!
      -Johnson Vedanayagam
    • madhu  •  7 months ago
      one can understand the emotional trauma one has to undergo...but committing suicide is just not the answer to overcome all your worries , nothing changes the world keeps on moving and u r forgotten largely by the society because of whom u took the step, the only people to suffer are your near and dear ones...suicide is the biggest mistake ...of ones life ..people get so lost in depression they are unable to make out the difference between whats right and wrong , they loose the capability to make corrective decision and therefore land themselves in such a mess... no matter what the problem nothing is permanent and your situation will also turn, all u need to do is to have faith in god and patience...i know its very difficult, but one has to try..i m too having problems in my life and feel like running away from all this but i always look down and think of people with even worse situation than what i am in , this gives me courage to look forward.. and move on....
    • md  •  7 months ago
      i was evn one tryng to commit tdy fr d same pupose of dis one but my girl friend (my life) gave me courage
    • Rathernotsay  •  7 months ago
      Chronic pain, financial distress, chronic illness, abuse are usually causes of suicide. They must be solved.
    • muddasir  •  7 months ago
      reason for this is the pace of the world,it is going very fast so some people cant understand this and take the extreme step,there is only one way to stop this is by going to practice there religion whether it may be hindu,muslim,cristian,siks ,we should give them proper practice from basic ages to our family members
    • KAR  •  7 months ago
      saddened
    • KAR  •  7 months ago
      saddened..
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