Positive Matrimony

Fri, Apr 25 01:40 AM

Shiv, a 33-year-old engineer, advertised for a partner in the matrimonial column of a national daily. He is looking for a girl - widow, divorcee or single - of any caste and he won't ask for dowry. Shiv is HIV positive, and his only criteria is that anyone interested in him be HIV affected too. Shiv is one of the many AIDS patients who are looking for life partners while being socially responsible.

In the past few months, print matrimonial columns have seen a steady flow of matrimonial ads from patients, but the serious numbers are on online matrimonial sites. On Shaadi.com there is a section called Special Cases where users can mention if they are HIV positive. Between the age group of 21 to 28 there are 45 female HIV positive users, and about 180 men. On Bharatmatrimony.com there 33 men between the ages 20 to 40 (of whom 10 are between ages 21 and 28) and 5 women in the 20 to 40 age group, of whom 2 are between ages 21 and 28. According to NACO statistics, 'In India people in the age group of 15-29 years account for 31 percent of the AIDS burden.'

In light of this, it's heartening to know that youngsters at least have woken up to their responsibilities. Positivesaathi.com, a matrimonial website dedicated to AIDS patients, says it attempts to, "rebuild the 55 lakh broken links of the nation." "The fact that men are being responsible and asking for infected partners is a good sign," said Jaya Tiwari, co-ordinator, Naz Foundation. "Very few HIV positive single women come to NGOs for help, so an ad in the newspaper is the best way to reach out to them," she says. Last month, Union Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss said that the government would make efforts to ensure that HIV patients are not discriminated against in the corporate sector and in hospitals. According to Shiv, understanding is a long way off, "Most matrimonial sections don't have a separate section for Positive patients. At these offices, once the staffers found out I was infected, they distanced themselves from me, as though accepting my ad would infect them." Shiv has also advertised on Shaadi.com and says he is hoping he can soon find a life partner.

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